ITMFA

Thanks Dan - You are so much better at written sarcasm than I am. (ITMFA)
things can't get any worse, can they?"

Oh, but they can: Not satisfied with meddling in the lives of the relatively small percentage of women who are pregnant, the American Taliban is moving to regulate the lives of all American women.

"New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves—and to be treated by the health care system—as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon," reports The Washington Post. "[T]his means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control… [I]t's important that women follow this advice throughout their reproductive lives, because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed."

Color me paranoid, but ordering American women to regard themselves as "pre-pregnant" because they may harm a fetus they don't know they're carrying opens the door to prosecuting women who harm their fetuses by failing to regard themselves as "pre-pregnant." How long until "women should… refrain from smoking [and] maintain a healthy body weight" becomes "women must…" Does that sound paranoid? Well, so did a war on contraception once. Oddly enough, Bush's Centers for Disease Control and Prevention don't urge straight men to regard themselves as existing in a perpetual state of "pre-fatherhood." Smoking, obesity, asthma, and diabetes could seriously hamper a man's ability to do the heavy lifting that comes with fatherhood. But Bush's CDC doesn't seem that interested in regulating the behavior of all those fat, smoking pre-fathers out there.

Gee. Isn't. That. Weird.

There is a bright side in the CDC's announcement: If we're going to regard all females as pre-pregnant, then we can, as my friend Gomez points out, regard all virgins as merely pre-fucked.

Thanks Again to Dan Savage. (emphasis is mine - the rest is the great works of Dan Savage!)

Stupid People

Ok - I have been wanting to post this for about a week now. This is a true story. All names will be withheld to protect - well, the guilty and stupid.

I have known Single Guy since jr hi school. For those keeping track - most of my life. Well, Single Guy is single because his ex wife is Psycho, with a capital P! She has been diagnosed bi-polar, but I think that is only the tip of the iceberg. That and she won't get help with the diagnosis that she has now and doesn't take her medication on a regular basis. Fun all around.

Anywho, Single Guy gets a call, "I have stolen a GPS (global positioning system) and I think the cops are after me. I don't know what to do." He hangs up as he hears sirens in the background of the call. It has been several years (like 8) since the divorce and he there isn't much he can do for her in Connnecticut!!!! Like he would anyway.....

Um, yea - you stole a GPS and then wondered why the cops could find you right away! LOL

Okay, it must have been funnier when he first told me the story.